Employing a maternity nurse is a very personal undertaking and needs to provide for the correct type of support, which will vary according to your needs.

One of the main issues to consider is whether you are planning on breastfeeding and how important is that experience to you. If you are really keen to breastfeed then you may find it helpful to ask some of the following questions:

• Do you have experience of supporting mothers who breastfeed
• Can you advise on diet and breastfeeding
• Do you have experience with babies that do not feed/latch on very well
• Are you prepared to assist you with the night feeds
• Can you advise on expressing breast milk and how to store it
• If I want to totally breastfeed and not introduce any formula will you be happy to support me with this
• If the breastfeeding was a struggle would you still support me in trying to get it right and suggest any ideas and advice to help
• If I change my mind and no longer want to breastfeed will you support me

The next important aspect to consider is a sleeping and eating routine for the baby. Do you consider routine to be important, if so, are there any approaches that particularly interest you? It may be you expect the maternity nurse to take the lead with this. You will need to consider whether you would prefer a very structured approach or a more laid back approach or more commonly, somewhere in between! It may be worth asking some of the following questions:

• What is your preferred approach to routines (if the response is that they usually follow the parents wishes, then probe a little further and ask if given a free rein, which route would they choose)
• What books have you read on routines and what do you think of the different approaches.
• When do you normally manage to get a baby sleeping through the night
• Are you flexible if I change my mind on routines at the time!!

One of the main concerns and issues that appear in references, is that maternity nurses can sometimes take up to much room in the house – not just their belongings, but an extra person in the house too. Think about what aspects of being at home are important to you and try some of these questions:

• Are you happy to share a room with the baby
• Do you need extra space for the evening
• Do you expect your own television
• Do you need meals cooked for you or can you/do you prefer to cook for yourself
• If we are to eat together as a family, do you mind mucking in with the cooking/clearing up
• Are you happy to give you and your partner time alone in the evenings
• Do you have any special dietary requirements
• Are you happy to accommodate and make visitors feel welcome

Finally, it is important to find out what drives and motivates them. Be certain to ask a few questions that will give you a feel for this and also it may be worth asking a few additional questions:

• Why do you do maternity work
• Are you happy to teach me about the baby
• Are you happy to include the father and teach him too
• Do you mind making me the occasional cup of tea if appropriate (maybe you are in the middle of breastfeeding) and if you are making yourself a sandwich, would you be happy to prepare one for me too
• Do you need to stay at the house on your day off
• Do you mind getting items for the baby from the shop from time to time (eg nappies, wipes, cotton wool and so on)